I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This is the high leading the old right now
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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