Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
