i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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