well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
