is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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