She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
