Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I accidentally burped into my bong.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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