could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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