You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
