This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize