Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
