We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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