pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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