Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
