I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Randomize
