we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
