I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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