oh god the rape fog is back!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
