i permit you to call me
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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