I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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