The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Randomize
