that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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