Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
They have beer where we have blood.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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