Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
