The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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