She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
