That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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