Someone shit on the floor
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I had to cum in my sink.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
