Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
