There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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