should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
