Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
