I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
