he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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