Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
