Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
