By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
