I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
