Even the bartender felt bad for me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I believe in your delicious
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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