I CAN MOONWALK!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he puts the penis in happiness.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
