Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
