This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
