she smelled like a LAN party
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
