Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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