I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
