How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
