ugly people sure do ruin things
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she told me i tasted like america
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
