Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
