I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
