ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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