did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
