life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
