I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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