you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
