I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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