New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
