i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
